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The 7 main differences between healthy and addictive relationships.

63 Views • 07/06/20
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wroger_wroger
wroger_wroger
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⁣⁣The seven ways or characteristics that define the differences between healthy and unhealthy or addictive relationships. This is a real life saver. From an old Adult Child of Alcoholic (and other dysfunctional families) conference. I am not an unquestioning advocate of AA and it's brainwashing and the offshoots like ACOA, and other derivatives. I am however, totally open and willing to make use of GOOD information. This is excellent - for me 30 + years ago - it was, and still is, a real life saver. Feel free to download it, rip it to MP3 and use it as a daily or predate educational tool / check list / inventory resource.

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Sardonic Smile
Sardonic Smile
3 years ago

This audience is projecting their insecurities with their strained and contrived laughter. I think this Gentleman's message is mostly lost on people like this.
I have heard somewhere that as a public speaker you will only actually be "reaching" ~8% to 10% of your audience.
The exercises he was giving the audience was Neuro Linguistic Programming; I think he was doing it to get their minds to engage him and "snap them out of" their torpor.

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wroger_wroger
wroger_wroger
3 years ago

He could have been.... You may be right. I had never thought of it like that. I was too busy thinking, "If I ever get back into a relationship with all the things that make for brilliant sex and absolute crap - I am a fucking gonner. So I had better listen to what this guy says and do the things to make my life work and to not get involved with people who can't or won't own and deal with their own issues." I have observed that most people are plain lazy or get preoccupied with all the other things, and sitting down, being still and addressing ones issues, in groups, with therapists and journaling and self help books etc., are immensely helpful - it's just most people don't want to put in the effort.

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AvatarOfSgrA* ShaperOfThings

I'm not down with the modern "normal". He's essentially advocating for "bed-hopping", "serial monogamy", or what's honestly called Being A HOE. This talk must be from decades ago. Although the bulk of this lecture is very true, relevant, and well-aged; there are current studies that indicate that after the first few sexual partners women lose their ability to pair-bond.

I also don't agree with the "need" for relationship therapy. It seems as though "relationship therapy" is only for women. From what I observe in the manosphere, all that happens is the man gets blamed for everything. Meanwhile, the woman puts on a performance, goes through the motions of "reconciliation", and persists in her delusion/lies of convenience. At the same time she gets more information to build a case against the guy in court.

Not to resort to Ad Hominems, but I DON'T think I'll be adhering to suggestions/recommendations from dysfunctional people or dysfunctional perspectives for anything RELEVANT.

Other than all that, great content. Keep 'em comin'.

Source(s):
https://www.medinstitute.org/a....rticles/pair-bonding
http://pauldavidphd.com/wp-con....tent/uploads/Pair-Bo

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Johnny_Cage
Johnny_Cage
4 years ago

Very true about not listening to all these people from damaged and dysfunctional people. Most things, organizations, and seats of authority are held/run by these damaged people. I'm sick of it because they enforce their messed-up/corrupted way of doing things onto EVERYONE else. It's obvious in how corrupt and damaged everything is.

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wroger_wroger
wroger_wroger
4 years ago

I am just sharing it, because I found it to be extremely useful.... As one who was lost in oblivion, this was my first clear sign post out of the shit and into making decisions based upon GOOD REASONS. In going from "Hi how are you? Lets fuck." and going into pacing them, looking for the signs and symptoms of dysfunctional relationships - within myself and within her, I have to make some HARD decisions, and to look at who were the bench marks or role models for my relationships, and what they taught me. I have found that almost all people have tapes looping around inside their head, with their fathers and mothers voices in their heads and their spend their whole lives listening to these messages.... Some of them are GOOD, some of them are BAD, and some of them are very destructive. This is a pathway into these issues and a concentrated way to deal with them and to work your way into healthier relationships. You know rather than the instant, "Lets Fuck" relationships, by pacing them, and scrutinising them, our interactions and ourselves, we can change. I find it's very important to look for the opportunities to improve and to say "Yes" to the good sane things, and "No" to the bad, insane things. We are free to choose.

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